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[1] 00:03- Hello Believe Nation, it's Evan.

[2] 00:04My own word is believe and I believe in people

[3] 00:07more than they believe in themselves

[4] 00:09and my sincere hope is that if you believe in yourself

[5] 00:11as much as I believe in you,

[6] 00:14you'll be able to change the planet.

[7] 00:16So to help you on your journey, today I'm doing a video

[8] 00:18on the 10 skills that are hard to learn

[9] 00:21but will pay off forever.

[10] 00:24And as always guys, if you're watching,

[11] 00:25if you hear something that really resonates with you,

[12] 00:27leave it down in the comments below,

[13] 00:29it's much more likely to stick with yourself

[14] 00:31and if you leave a comment within the first few hours

[15] 00:32of the video going live, you have a chance to win

[16] 00:34one of two daily prizes. Enjoy!

[17] 00:36Skill number one is speaking up.

[18] 00:40- One of the things you would want to be sure to do

[19] 00:44is whether you like it or not,

[20] 00:47get very comfortable, it make take awhile,

[21] 00:50with public speaking for example.

[22] 00:52I mean, that's an asset that will last you 50 or 60 years

[23] 00:57and it's a liability if you don't like doing it

[24] 01:00or are uncomfortable doing it that will also last you

[25] 01:0250 or 60 years and it's a necessary skill.

[26] 01:05- Skill number two is being honest with yourself.

[27] 01:08- One of the big things that all startups do is they lie

[28] 01:11to themselves, over and over and over.

[29] 01:14Mine's faster, mine's cheaper, mine's better,

[30] 01:17mine's this, mine's that.

[31] 01:19No it's not and the reason it's not is because

[32] 01:22whoever it is you're competing with,

[33] 01:24it's not like they're ignoring you.

[34] 01:26It's not like, oh my goodness,

[35] 01:29this guy just started on Shopify in the startup competition

[36] 01:32and he's doing a million dollars this year,

[37] 01:33woe is me, I might as well close up the doors.

[38] 01:36What are they doing?

[39] 01:37I'm going to copy what they're doing and now you've got to

[40] 01:39stay ahead and so, you know, you've got to be

[41] 01:41very careful as a entrepreneur to be brutally honest

[42] 01:43with yourself and those are some of the things

[43] 01:46that you'll hear from me as a mentor.

[44] 01:48That know what you know, know what you don't know,

[45] 01:51but you got to know your business better than anybody.

[46] 01:54- Skill number three is having confidence.

[47] 01:57- I don't know if you'd agree with me on this,

[48] 01:59but in many ways, one of the key factors

[49] 02:04to legendary success isn't your natural ability.

[50] 02:09It's not whether you have the right product,

[51] 02:11it's not whether you're in the right field,

[52] 02:12it's not whether you've had a blessed background.

[53] 02:15It's not whether you have the right IQ.

[54] 02:18I want you to really think about and deconstruct

[55] 02:21and play with maybe later tonight win your journal.

[56] 02:24I want you to deconstruct this idea of confidence

[57] 02:28and it seems like a very simple work but just think about

[58] 02:31it in your own life.

[59] 02:32When you have confidence or we could even call it fire,

[60] 02:35when you have that fire within you, that confidence,

[61] 02:39that interior bravery,

[62] 02:43you almost have this power to do whatever it takes

[63] 02:47to get your brave vision done.

[64] 02:51You see, in this world, it's not about, in many ways,

[65] 02:56your strategy and your business or your ability

[66] 02:59in your life, it's about this thing called confidence

[67] 03:02and we've all had these times in our lives when we are

[68] 03:05full of confidence and what other people see as a problem,

[69] 03:08we simply do see as an opportunity.

[70] 03:11Other people see it as a stumbling block or a wall

[71] 03:14and we see it as a stepping stone or this solution.

[72] 03:20So confidence is simply something that you really

[73] 03:23want to wire in.

[74] 03:24Confidence is something you really want to develop,

[75] 03:26confidence is a practice, confidence is a muscle

[76] 03:29and like any muscle, the more you focus on it

[77] 03:33and practice it and train it, the stronger your confidence

[78] 03:37is going to grow and I just have to say it again.

[79] 03:39When you are at a place in your life,

[80] 03:42when there is ongoing, steady stream of confidence

[81] 03:47moving through your mindset, moving though your heartset,

[82] 03:51you do the heroic in your business

[83] 03:53and you achieve the remarkable in your life.

[84] 03:56- Skill number four is listening.

[85] 03:59- Nelson Mandela is a particularly special case study

[86] 04:04in the leadership world because he is universally regarded

[87] 04:08as a great leader.

[88] 04:10You can take other personalities and depending on the nation

[89] 04:12you go to, we have different opinions about other

[90] 04:14personalities but Nelson Mandela, across the world,

[91] 04:17is universally regarded as a great leader.

[92] 04:21He was actually the son of a tribal chief

[93] 04:24and he was asked one day,

[94] 04:26how did you learn to be a great leader?

[95] 04:30And he responded that he would go with his father

[96] 04:33to tribal meetings and he remembers two things

[97] 04:37when his father would meet with other elders.

[98] 04:40One, they would always sit in a circle

[99] 04:44and two, his father was always the last to speak.

[100] 04:50You will be told your whole life that you need

[101] 04:52to learn to listen.

[102] 04:53I would say that you need to learn to be the last to speak.

[103] 04:58I see it in board rooms every day of the week.

[104] 05:00Even people who consider themselves good leaders who may

[105] 05:02actually be decent leaders will walk into a room and say,

[106] 05:05here's the problem, here's what I think,

[107] 05:06but I'm interested in your opinion,

[108] 05:08let's go around the room.

[109] 05:09It's too late.

[110] 05:11The skill to hold your opinions to yourself until

[111] 05:13everyone has spoken does two things.

[112] 05:16One, it gives everybody else the feeling

[113] 05:19that they have been heard.

[114] 05:21It gives everyone else the ability to feel

[115] 05:23that they have contributed.

[116] 05:26And two, you get the benefit of hearing what everybody

[117] 05:29else has to think before you render your opinion.

[118] 05:32The skill is really to keep your opinions to yourself.

[119] 05:35If you agree with somebody, don't nod yes.

[120] 05:38If you disagree with somebody, don't nod no.

[121] 05:42Simply sit there, take it all in, and the only thing

[122] 05:44you're allowed to do is ask questions so that you can

[123] 05:47understand what they mean and why they have the opinion

[124] 05:51that they have, you must understand from where they

[125] 05:54are speaking, why they have the opinion they have,

[126] 05:58not just what they are saying

[127] 06:00and at the end, you will get your turn.

[128] 06:04It sounds easy, it's not.

[129] 06:08Practice being the last to speak.

[130] 06:10That's what Nelson Mandela did.

[131] 06:13- Skill number five is managing your time.

[132] 06:16- My challenge in our generation is that gradually

[133] 06:20through entertainment, through television, through media,

[134] 06:24through every way possible, we are living in a

[135] 06:26generation of the dumbing down of ideas

[136] 06:31because we have traded effectiveness for busyness.

[137] 06:37Statistics say, yeah somebody ought to clap on that.

[138] 06:43We are busier than any other generation we have seen

[139] 06:47in the last three to 400 years.

[140] 06:49We are so busy, we are busier than a one armed

[141] 06:54wallpaper hanger, we're just busy, you'll get it later,

[142] 06:57don't worry about it, it'll hit you in a minute.

[143] 06:59We are just as busy as we can be and we think

[144] 07:02because we're busy, we're effective.

[145] 07:05But I want you to challenge your schedule for a minute

[146] 07:08and ask yourself, are you really being effective

[147] 07:12or is your life cluttered with all kinds of stuff

[148] 07:16that demands you and drains you and taxes you

[149] 07:20and stops you from being your highest and best self

[150] 07:23and are you substituting busyness and all the chaos

[151] 07:28that goes along with busyness from being effective?

[152] 07:31Let me tell you, a bunch of scientists got together,

[153] 07:32they begin to do some research and they begin to determine

[154] 07:35that 80% of the things we do are busy things that we do

[155] 07:40in an area that is not effective, that the average person

[156] 07:43only spends 20% of their time doing the thing that they

[157] 07:48are really gifted, creative at, passionate about,

[158] 07:52excited to do and the rest of it is all the dismal,

[159] 07:55dumb stuff that we all have to do in order to survive.

[160] 07:59Just crazy stuff that we're doing.

[161] 08:00Wonder what would happen if we would go from doing

[162] 08:0480% of things that are busy but not effective

[163] 08:06and 20% of the things that are really effective,

[164] 08:09if we would switch those numbers around and only give

[165] 08:1220% of our time to the things that we have to do

[166] 08:14and 80% of our time to thing that we were

[167] 08:18created to do.

[168] 08:20(audience applause)

[169] 08:25Wonder what would happen to your life.

[170] 08:26Now think about it a minute, there's a lot of things

[171] 08:29you could take from me and I could make it.

[172] 08:30You could take my suit, I got another one.

[173] 08:32You could take my car, I could get another one.

[174] 08:34You could take my house, I could get another house.

[175] 08:37But when you take my time, you have taken something from me

[176] 08:42that is totally irreplaceable.

[177] 08:46We take all kinds of questions from money management.

[178] 08:49We know how to manage our money, we know how to repair

[179] 08:52our houses, we're working on our hair and our bodies

[180] 08:55and all of this kind of stuff.

[181] 08:56We do everything except the most important thing

[182] 08:59is to value our time.

[183] 09:02It takes time to be creative.

[184] 09:07You were meant to be creative.

[185] 09:09You were created in the likeness and the image

[186] 09:11of a creator and in that likeness and in that image,

[187] 09:15you have creativity.

[188] 09:17If you had time, you would be creative

[189] 09:21but in the absence of time and with busyness

[190] 09:24and clutter the ring ring ring, the phone ring,

[191] 09:25beep, beep, beep.

[192] 09:26You all got music playing on your phone, all kinds of stuff.

[193] 09:28No matter kind of song you put on,

[194] 09:30after awhile you hate to hear it because every time

[195] 09:32you hear that sound you know it's somebody else

[196] 09:34wanting something else from you that's taking you away

[197] 09:38from what you are gifted and created to do.

[198] 09:41- Skill number six is stop whining.

[199] 09:45- So I have this thing that I've been promoting called

[200] 09:47No Whining Wednesdays.

[201] 09:51Wednesday you cannot whine, complain, or criticize.

[202] 09:57And people are like, well what is whining?

[203] 10:00Whatever you think it is, don't do it.

[204] 10:04And every time you do it,

[205] 10:05you have to put a quarter in a jar.

[206] 10:09If you whine about anything, I can't, I'm tired,

[207] 10:12why me, why don't you?

[208] 10:17Every one of them will cost you a quarter.

[209] 10:19Or complaining, why don't you, why do you always,

[210] 10:22how come you, I am always, they never.

[211] 10:25Oop, cost you a quarter.

[212] 10:27Then last week, I had people send me pictures of their

[213] 10:30jars of quarters.

[214] 10:32Oh my god. (laughs)

[215] 10:35What they said to me also was, this was wonderful

[216] 10:39because I was never, ever aware of how much whining

[217] 10:43and complaining and criticizing I do.

[218] 10:46I've got mothers doing it with their children.

[219] 10:50So Wednesday is No Whining Wednesday.

[220] 10:54We need to practice that.

[221] 10:56We need to stop whining about what isn't happening,

[222] 11:01what we don't have, what we can't do,

[223] 11:02what somebody didn't do.

[224] 11:05We got to get it clean in 2014.

[225] 11:09No whining, no complaining, no criticizing.

[226] 11:15- Skill number seven is staying present in the moment.

[227] 15:28Skill number eight, being consistent.

[228] 15:31- Success is not a destination.

[229] 15:34People always think that oh my god, this person's

[230] 15:36so successful because they've had a successful movie

[231] 15:38or a successful show but success is a journey.

[232] 15:41You have to consistently always, always be successful.

[233] 15:44That's when you're really successful because otherwise

[234] 15:46you'll be remembered for your last failure

[235] 15:48and I've had a few but I just have to compensate for

[236] 15:52my failure by just getting up and running.

[237] 15:55The more time you take to sort of mourn it,

[238] 15:58you're wasting that much more time in being successful.

[239] 16:02So you just have to perk up, pick yourself up,

[240] 16:06dust yourself off and just say what can I do?

[241] 16:08There's always a solution.

[242] 16:09You can't expect, people always get mistaken that

[243] 16:12just because this year has been what it has been,

[244] 16:15it's been because I consistently worked hard

[245] 16:18for about 10 years.

[246] 16:20So now, I know my job enough to be able

[247] 16:22to be appreciated for it.

[248] 16:24But if I hadn't had the last 10 years,

[249] 16:26I would never have had this year or the year before that.

[250] 16:29So success is not a destination where you,

[251] 16:32or power is not like okay today you're powerful.

[252] 16:35You have to consistently be powerful

[253] 16:37and consistently be successful and that is a journey.

[254] 16:41- Skill number nine is getting enough sleep.

[255] 16:44- Well, first of all, I prioritize sleep.

[256] 16:47That means saying no to things you want to do.

[257] 16:52It's not easy.

[258] 16:53- [Interviewer] No, it's hard, I think the hardest thing.

[259] 16:55- Last night, you know, Sheryl Sandberg interviewed me

[260] 16:58at the San Fran Symphony Hall and then I had to sign books

[261] 17:02and I would have loved to go and have dinner with her

[262] 17:05but I went to bed.

[263] 17:09You know, because if I had gone out to dinner

[264] 17:12and hadn't gotten my at least seven hours sleep that I need

[265] 17:17and had to get up early to do TV,

[266] 17:19I would not be enjoying being here with you now

[267] 17:21and I'm really enjoying it and I'm 100% present

[268] 17:24and I'm not tired and I hate being tired more than

[269] 17:27I hate anything.

[270] 17:28- And skill number 10 is having empathy.

[271] 17:31- I've thought a lot about the power of empathy.

[272] 17:36In my work, it's the current that connects me

[273] 17:40and my actual pulse to a fictional character

[274] 17:44in a made up story, it allows me to feel pretend feelings

[275] 17:49and sorrows and imagined pain.

[276] 17:53In my nervous system is sympathetically wired

[277] 18:00and it conducts that current to you

[278] 18:02sitting in a movie theater

[279] 18:04and to the woman sitting next to you

[280] 18:07and to her friend so that we all feel that it's happening

[281] 18:12to us at the same time.

[282] 18:14It's a very mysterious and valuable resource

[283] 18:16of the human species

[284] 18:18and women, I think, access it most effortlessly.

[285] 18:24We cry at sad movies, we don't feel we lose face

[286] 18:28or stature or position doing it.

[287] 18:33We see a news story that enrages us and we write letters

[288] 18:38through tears, our hearts pounding.

[289] 18:40I often used to wonder why human beings developed these

[290] 18:45inconvenient and embarrassing responses,

[291] 18:50this sniffling, choking, wet obstruction.

[292] 18:56You know, the thing physicians and soldiers and

[293] 18:59stock traders and journalists and fashion models

[294] 19:03and politicians and news commentators

[295] 19:06and venture capitalists all must suppress in order

[296] 19:09to work most efficiently.

[297] 19:10(audience laughing)

[298] 19:14I thought what possible value, function could it serve

[299] 19:19in the Darwinian scheme of you know,

[300] 19:21survival of the fittest and the strongest

[301] 19:23and the most heavily armed.

[302] 19:26(audience laughing)

[303] 19:27No seriously, I thought why and how did we evolve

[304] 19:32with this weak and useless passion in tact

[305] 19:38within the deep heart's core.

[306] 19:43And the answer as I've formulated it to myself

[307] 19:46is that empathy is the engine

[308] 19:50that powers all the best in us.

[309] 19:54It is what civilizes us.

[310] 19:57It is what connects us.

[311] 19:59- Thank you guys so much for watching.

[312] 20:00I hope you enjoyed.

[313] 20:02I'd love to know what did you think of this video?

[314] 20:04What did you take from it that you're going to apply

[315] 20:06immediately somehow to your life or to your business?

[316] 20:10What was your favorite from the 10

[317] 20:12and how you're going to apply?

[318] 20:13Leave it down on the comments below,

[319] 20:15I'm really curious to find out.

[320] 20:16Also if you think there's 11, 12, 13 that you want to

[321] 20:19add to the list, leave it down on the comments.

[322] 20:21I'm super curious to see what you have to say.

[323] 20:23Thank you guys again for watching, I believe in you.

[324] 20:25I hope you continue to believe in yourself

[325] 20:28and whatever your one word is.

[326] 20:29Much love, I'll see you soon.